


What you are

by Randomhumanbeing



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, He starts out as an asshole but gets better I promise, Morally Neutral Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Self-Hatred, Sexual Humor, Sympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Therapy, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:41:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23071123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Randomhumanbeing/pseuds/Randomhumanbeing
Summary: Remus wants to help the Light Sides come up with ideas for a new video. Things go very wrong
Relationships: none yet
Comments: 15
Kudos: 125





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Archive wouldn't let me add this so I'm also giving a warning for hanging mention and candy animal death here. More tags are likely to come if/as this story continues and grows more intense. This is dual posted on Tumblr.

Remus was, by his nature, loud. His clothes were loud, his hair was loud, fuck even his steps were loud. Which made trying to sneak past Deceit a futile effort.

Yet still Remus crept into the Darkside living room. Like all parts of Thomas's mind, it was set up like the main living room, but small changes made the differences between the rooms clear. The paint was peeled, each sliver curled inwards like claws. Instead of a painting with abstract circles, there was one with a series of eyes that seemed to follow you around the room. The stairs had caution tape and cones that discouraged entry, the room was bathed in a sinister green light.

And there on the couch sat Deceit, back straight, engrossed in a book about David Hume. All Remus had to do is get to his spot and sink-

"Evening Remus." The snake said without looking up.

"Fuck- I mean Hi Deeeeeee-lightful." The positive nickname made Deceit's nose crinkle slightly, which made Remus feel slightly less on edge.

"Where are you going?" His tone was smooth and casual, he even flipped to the next page of his book, trying to pretend that this was a normal event.

"STRAIGHT TO HELL!" Remus cackled, but it did little to lighten the tensity of the situation if anything the silence that followed made things feel worse. He gripped the edge of his shirt, "This is the exact silence that comes before someone makes just the LOUDEST fart, like the kind you'd want to light a fire under and watch the building burn with cause there's just so much gas-"

"You're going to see them, aren't you?" Deceit's voice held no emotion but Remus could feel it nonetheless. He knew this looked exactly like what happened when Virgil left. The one time he went over, followed by hours of talking about how nice it felt to Finally feel listened to even if they did hate him. He grew a fanbase, the others slowly seemed to get used to his prescence and valued his imput.

He was happy, and they were happy for him.

The last time they saw him was when he ducked out, Deceit had yelled at him about how much Thomas NEEDED him, how much danger he was putting their host in, and for what? To feel more appreciated by THEM?

Virgil had argued back, until Deceit realized he wasn't going to listen to him anymore and left him to get some non-anxiety -filled air and tea for the both of them. The door was gone when he came back.

If the same thing happened with Remus, the only person Deceit would have left was Rage and, while certainly useful and not the worst, they weren't nearly as close.

Remus moved closer to the couch just to drape over it and by proxy Deceit, "Awww, if I didn't know better I'd say you were worried about me Little Dee~ relax, I'm just going over to see if they need help with the next video."

Deceit scoffed, "I'd never miss you. You're an absolute nuscience to everyone." In the corner of his lips though there was a smile and of course Remus noticed and poked his cheek.

"You loooooooooove me~!"

"I have never loved anyone or anything in my life." He deadpanned. Remus howled with laughter at that one he wiped a tear from his eye.

"Ah, that's a good one. Don't worry too much D-cup," he said casually waving his hand, "I'll be back by dinner."

He moved to his spot prepared to sink out, when he heard Deceit say wity more sincerity he thought the side was capable of, "Be careful."

Remus gave a loud, "HA! I don't know the meaning of the word!" Deceit gave a long suffering sign and Remus couldn't help the devilish smile that came to his lips, but the genuine concern in Deceit's eye made his stomach churn with guilt so he added, "But I will." Before sinking out.

"WHADDUP SLUTS?!" He shouted one arm in the air and the other on his hips as he entered in Roman's typical spot. Patton and Virgil were the only ones here, which made sense. Logan doing research on the next video's topic and Roman brain storming and all. Virgil growled at him the minute he stepped in, but stopped when Patton put a hand on his shoulder.

"We promised we'd give him a chance Virge." He said softly.

Virgil shoved his hands in his pocket, "Whatever, if he's staying I'm going."

Remus waved his hand "Alright then, bye bitch."

Virgil blew a raspberry at him and sunk out.

Patton took a deep breath rubbing between his eyes, "Alright Pat Pat, be calm, you can do this." Then, he smiled at Remus as if nothing just happened, "Hi kiddo, it's nice to see you again!"

Remus snorted, "I thought you were against lying Morality," he made his voice high, "Because it's woooooong. "

Patgon cocked his head, "Whaddaya mean? It is nice to see you!"

Remus's smile widened, "Like it's nice to see... THIS," He waved his hand and Patton was greated with the image of a body hanging from the ceiling with their own intestine serving as the rope.

Patton cringed at the image and wrapped his arms against himself, "Do you HAVE to do that?"

Remus shrugged, "It's what I do daddy dearest, emphasis on the DADDY."

Patton groaned, "Dear God, please don't-" he breathed in through his nose, " Alright, it 's okay, you are allowed to be you. "

Remus put his chin in his hands, "Always great to have your permission to be here. "

Patton shook his head, "Let's start from the begining-"

Remus got prepared to restart his musical number when Patton cut him off, "NO!" Patton cleared his throat, "Ha no no no, the begining of this conversation. Did you come here for a reason kiddo?"

Remus blinked, did he? Oh, right! "I was wondering if I could help Roman and Logan with the next episode?" For a split second there was a flicker of pleading in Remus's eyes, he really wanted this, of course he did. He was a part of Creativity after all.

Patton nodded, "Of course! We'd love to have you involved."

Remus shook his head like a flabbergasted cartoon, "bbhihbjgbgjv Whaaaaa? "

Patton laughed, "Oh you~ Dark sides can be so silly! I said we'd love to have you involved as long as you have things that are worth acknowledging." He walked up to Remus , put his hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eye, Rdmus stiffened, the eye contact putting him on edge. He looked away and Patton moved to cup Remus's face in his hand, "Look at me, hey, hey look at me."

He pushed Remus's face to look at him and stroked his head, "I know I messed up before," he sniffled, "I messed up real bad because I didn't understand you. Now, now I do and," he burried his head in Remus's shoulder who shuffled a big, feeling uncomfortable. "I promise I'll never make the same mistake. You were always one of us Remus, and I-I was wrong to think otherwise. "

Remus wished he'd get off of him, he hated how trapped he felt in Patton's arms. He hated how he felt guilty even though he knew it wasn't his fault Patton was crying. "Okay." He said simply. He hated that that was the only thing he could think to say. He was getting a chance to be with the Light sides, to have an open voice in Thomas's mind with seemingly no drawbacks and all he could think to say was, 'okay '?!

Patton wiped his eyes, "Alright, " loud sniff, "Let's go then!"

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The light side of the Imagination was just as bright and cheery as Remus remembered it from the split. The sky was a brilliant blue, the trees ranged from as tall as mountains to as small as a pinball. It was rare that you could find two that were exactly the same, some had this cotton candy leaves and candied apples hanging from them, while others seemed normal, until you noticed that they danced gently despite the lack of a breeze. 

Remus took a hold of a licorace vine and watched it wiggle and twist into a hissing red snake in his hands. Patton gave a squeak of fear and backed up; Remus bit off its head, spreading cherry flavored blood and viscera around the area. He gave a small hum, "Not bad, he managed to keep the flavor and considering the grass isn't wilting and he doesn't know I'm here, he's gotten WAY more powerful." 

He turned towards Patton, mouth covered with the jam, "Want some?" 

Patton quickly shook his head, "No, no I don't. Hey, I have a fun game to play while we're here, it's called, 'don't touch and ruin Roman's beautiful perfect creations!'"

"But I'm not!" He whinned.

Patton pet the top of his head, "I know you're not doing it on purpose sweetie, it's just who you are." He pat his knees, "Just keep your hands right here until we meet up with Roman okay?"

Remus didn't know why this got to him so much, after all he wasn't being silenced, just told not to touch things for now. His hands twitched the entire walk towards Roman, the inability to touch anything around him made the short walk feel like it took ages, but nonetheless they sucessfully made it to Roman's castle. It reminded him of the castle at Disneyland, a tall, bright white beast of a thing made of several towers with red tips.

Remus couldn't help his small smie when he looked slightly to the left over a nearbye hill and saw the castle of The Dragon Witch still standing. She'd been one of his favorites when they were younger, coming up with her schemes and Roman foiling them. His heart ached slightly with nostalgia, unti he felt Patton tug on his arm gently.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Patton said with a cock of his head.

"I missed this place." Remus's voice was quiet as he soaked in the details of the area. 

Patton put his arm around Remus's shoulder and squeezes it hard enough to make Remus flinch, "Oh you softie!" He chuckles, "Come on, let's go inside." As soon as they reached the archway two half-wolf creature guards stopped them in their tracks, pointig their spears at the pair. Patton showed his crest and they nodded.

"Sir Patton, we of course recognize you, but we cannot allow that," the sword was placed under Remus's chin, "FIEND to enter and hurt our Prince."

Remus pouted, "Awww, is the widdle pwince too scared to fight me head on?"

Patton ignored him, "Good knights we swear we will not attempt to harm the 

More loudly he said, "Stop pretending you're not listening through your proxies and FIGHT ME you COWARD!" There was a twinkle of mirth in his eyes as the doors to the castle swung open, a shadowy figure stood in the doorway dramatic fog behind him, "You dare call me a coward?" The voice of the shadow was Roman, clear as day. He stepped into the sunlight, sword in hand, "Those are fighting wor -"

Before he could finish, he was tackle hugged by Patton. "Roman!" The Prince in question laughed, "Patton! This sure is a surprise. What are you doing here?"

Patton gave his prettiest smile, "Well, Remus wanted to help you brainstorm a bit for the next video. "

"And you're okay with that?"

"Absolutely! As long as I'm allowed to watch and make sure nothing bad happens this should all go fine. "

Roman looked at Patton for a few moments, mulling it over before nodding and motioning the guards away from Remus. Remus strut to his side, "Well it's about time Prince Boring." 

Roman hit him on the head with the blunt side of his blade, making Remus crumple to the ground surprised at the motion, "That was for when you snuck up behind me on camera. "He leaned down and flicked his nose, "And that was for calling me a coward." 

Remus rubbed his nose, a slightly dazed look on his face, "Ah Rominiature you haven't changed a bit!"

Roman sighs, "It's a HALF INCH."

Remus bleps, "Still taaaaaaller~!"

Roman rolls his eyes, and starts walking inside, Patton follows behind leaving Remus outside for a while until he finally feels okay enough to join them inside. 

"So what kind of dicks do your dog creatures have?" Remus asked as soon as he returned to the pair's side. Patton made a choking noise but Roman didn't respond for a while.

"I actually haven't thought about what their species is like in... That way." Roman mused, "It might help my worldbuilding in a round about way." A small red poof of a cloud appeared with thr words, 'How would gender roles work in a society where the amount of children born is at least 3?" 

Remus shrugged, "I was thinking porn but hey. there are millions of ways to take my suggestions! Ohhh, do you think they do bloodsports to stop overpopulation? "A small green cloud apeared too, but was Patton clapped his hands and it vanished. 

"Sorry! I just don't think that's the kind of story we want to write! I mean that's a super dark thing to have in a world with human-dog hybrids and cotton candy trees!" Patton's voice was simple, his reasoning made sense.

"Oh." Remus said quietly, his stomach churned he knew Patton wasn't wrong, of course he wasn't, but everything felt so dizzyingly familiar.

Roman pat him on the back twice and gave the kind of smile that could light up the world, the kind that reminded Remus why Roman kept the role of Prince, "Don't get too mopy about that bother-oh-mine. We were supposed to be brainstorming about the video remember?"

Remus gave a small smile and nodded, "Of course. Yeah." And so it began , and Remus watched as one by one his concepts were clapped out of existance by Patton. 

'What if Thomas had to deal with not knowing whether he's ready to go to bone town with a partner?' Clapped out because they don't need to talk about 'that kind of thing' when kids could be watching! 'What about an episode where Thomas has to deal with the loss of a loved one, maybe even one he has mixed feelings towards!' Clapped for being too depressing, it'd get everyone down! 'One where Thomas has to debate his own safety after a robbery nearby?' Clapped because it could lead to talking about violence or worse, guns, and Patton doesn't think they should get into that. 'What about-' CLAP 'one where Thomas' CLAP 'Has to' CLAP CLAP CLAP. 

The sound of Patton's claps rang in his ears everything was dimmed and loud at once and felt so bright, with one more clap he couldn't take it anymore and shouted, 'WHAT ABOUT AN EPISODE WHERE THOMAS EATS MY ENTIRE ASS? It'd start with Morality sucking my cock, then Logic would behead him out of jealously and finally Thomas would reveal that the only thing he eved wanted was to eat my ass. OM NOM NOM!" 

There was silence.

His eyes watered with unshed tears, why was everything he did wrong?

Patton smiled, "Well that sure was a creative idea Remus, but I don't think we can accept it. Sorry. Hey Roman?" Roman stopped saying his own ideas for a second and glanced at the pair, "Remus seems pretty upset, I think we're going to head out." 

Roman looked confused for a second then looks at Remus proper, his eyes widened, "How did I not, I was so lost in thought. Oh dear, Remus... I'll join you."

Patton shook his head, "Oh no, I can handle him fine. You just keep creating you handsome lovely prince you!"

Roman glances at his brother one last time, "Is that what you want Remus? " 

Remus couldn't hear him over the incessant pounding of his head. He just clung to the closestthing nearby, which in this case was Patton. Roman took that as a yes and sunk them both out into the commons. 

Remus burst into tears, he felt fragile, a single word could break him. Patton hummed softly rocking him back and fourth, in another time or place Remus would have bitten his fingers as they ran through his hair. "Shhh, it's okay." Patton whispered, "It'll be okay."

Remus managed to get his voice to work and croaked, "Why can't I," his breath hitched, "Why can't I create good things? I want, I want to help-" 

Patton hushed him gently once more, "I know kiddo, I know. But sometimes you can't, because you're just not good enough. I know it hurts, but you can't change what you are and you're the bad part of creativity."

Remus felt strange, every word that Patton said was laced with honey, created to soothe, but nothing he said felt soothing. It made his throat close up and more tears force their way out. Patton kissed the top of his head, "But that's okay, because I love you, even though you are bad. I want you to stay with us, I even have a room prepared when you're ready. "

Remus wished he could argue that Patton didn't love him. A few days ago that would have been easy, but now here he was, offering him a place on the light side, heck maybe he'd even have a voice if he worked harder to cool down his temper and keep his ideas in check, he'd even apologized for how he treated him in the past. "Okay." He said simply. Patton hugged him tightly and led him to his room.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Deceit sat at the dinner table with a plate of steak and salad for himself, a similar p!ate, but with a well done stake to his left (Virgil would always get panicked if his wasn't well done.) And a plate of fried worms to his right (Remus loved the crunch.) It was 7 o clock.

"Are we going to wait for them until midnight or can I eat?" Rage snapped.

Deceit waved his hand in a sign that he could eat and the Orange side did, with a ravenous appetite, but Deceit didn't loose hope that either of them would appear in the night, laughing about how late they are. So he waited.

and waited

and waited.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton tries to get Remus involved in their family breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings here for biblical references, a vore mention and this is when the 'Questionable' parts of Virgil's behaviors start. I don't think it's too bad but practice care and such.

Remus woke up in a room he didn't know, but his memories returned to him quickly. The screaming, the crying, Patton comforting him. His stomach moaned at him in irritation. He probably missed dinner...

"DECEIT!" Oh shit, he promised he'd make it back by morning! His shout was loud enough to be noticed by Patton who knocked on the door.

“Remus, sweetie? Are you okay?" His voice was like lace, soft, and gently tickling at his skin. Filled with a genuine concern that, if he were being honest, unnerved him.

"YEAH, I'M ALRIGHT!" He shouted at the door, "Just changing." The lie made Remus realizes he probably should do that. He moved to change into new clothes, and looked to see what the Lights had to offer him.

The dramatic outfit was just Roman's dyed a tasteful grayish with a grass-green sash. And the casual outfit didn't have a hint of sexual appeal or even an uncensored curse word! Some were slightly edgy, one with a cartoon zombie eating someone's brains was almost there, but none of them hit the mark for things he would wear. He sniffed them and found they smelled like sweet lavender. Disgusting.

"Don't take too long kiddo or your breakfast will get cold!"

He sniffed his own shirt, his own odor hadn't completely masked the usual trash smell. He'd be fine- wait breakfast?! He cracked open the door, "I'm really not that hungry and I really should be getting back home to Deceit and Rage, who I'm sure are PISSED about me being gone."

Patton looked up at him with big, sad eyes, "But I worked so hard on it! It was made from scratch with all my love!"

Remus looked away, fuck this is hard, he'd never really turned anyone down for anything. It was strange being on this side of the situation, but he knew he had to do it. "Being here, it's been great, really, like a thousand orgasms into Keanu Reeves kind of great, but I really have to go." Patton looked like he was on the brink of tears and Remus could feel guilt welling up in his chest. Fuck, "Since you worked so hard on those pancakes, maybe you could make a doggie bag for me to bring back?"

Patton immediately perked up, "Are you done changing?"

Remus looked himself over one last time, making sure he didn't forget anything before saying yes. Shirt, pants, panties, 10 slap bracelets, kazoo, everything was there. "Yes."

"I can't just leave without seeing your face a one more time, come to the kitchen with me?"

Remus hesitated, it wouldn't take that long to get to the kitchen right? It wasn't like he was staying there to eat, it wouldn't hurt to just walk down to the kitchen with him. His stomach twisted and ached and he wasn't sure whether it was because of his hunger or a general sense of unease. He opened the door and stepped out, "Sounds like a plan!"

Patton's face scrunched up when he saw Remus's full body, "Oh."

Remus huffed, "You're making that face."

"What face? I'm not making a face!"

Remus rolled his eyes, "You lie more often then Deceit, that's your, 'Remus stop telling Thomas to kill his family!' Face." he wrapped his arms around himself, "The face you make when I'm doing something wrong."

Patton put his hands on Remus's shoulder, rubbing it gently, "Why are you still wearing your old clothes? Don't you like what I made for you?"

Remus hesitated, the truth would hurt Patton's feelings, he blinked at his own thought. Since when had he cared about hurting anyone's feelings? "They look like elephant crap and smell like it too! "

Patton looked away from him, "It took me a long time to come up with something I thought you might like you know.

Well now he felt bad, shit. "Sorry I just-"

Patton shook his head, "No, no it's fine, just crushed my self-esteam why don't you!" He gave a small laugh, " Why did I even bother with any of this. "

Remus felt his stomach drop, here Patton was trying his best to try to make him feel comfortable back in the light. And he was so dedicated to his own thoughts and feelings that he wasn't even giving him a real chance. "I can change if you'd prefer it." His voice was soft and gentle, like he was talking to a child, even though Patton was older than him.

Patton looked at him with the biggest grin, "You would?"

He starts moving back towards the door to the room Patton had made for him and picks up the zombie shirt. He wonders if he could put a few choice holes into the jeans, he grins and rocks slightly thinking about cutting them near the croach area. Or, he giggled to himself, is it ass out Wednesday yet? Or better yet both! He remembered though, how utterly devstated Patton was just from saying he didn't like the clothes. If he outright changed them?

He ignored the gentle buzz of his hands, it's alright babies. You'll be able to do something soon enough. He knew he'd have to let out a lot of steam back on his side of the imagination after this to stop himself from feeling miserable, but it was just another few minutes.

The look on Patton's face when he leaves his room, the ohhs and ahhs and cheering are enough to convince him that this was indeed worth the slight aesthetic change as they walked into the kitchen together.

Logan sat at the breakfast table reading a newspaper, in front of him a steaming hot pancake with a small slab of butter melted on it. Virgil sat to his left, his leg shaking slightly with a similar breakfast though slathered with syrup and Roman sat to his across from Logan, druming his fingers on the table and humming to himself boredly. There were two empty seats with plates, one next to Roman and one at the head of the table.

"Hi everyone! So, the surprise actually didn't go as planned," Patton said , he played with his fingers as the other three stared at him and Remus. Remus posed, sticking out his tongue, "take a picture it'll last longer."

Virgil was the first one to speak, "What's /he/ doing here?"

Patton sighed, "I thought it'd be nice to have a family dinner together -"

Virgil growled, "He is NOT a part of the family."

Remus giggled and blew a kiss, " Love you too Virge. "Virgil looked 5 seconds from choking him.

Roman stood up challanging Virgil, "Even if he's not your family he sure as hell is mine! "He gave Remus a warm, princely smile, "and I'm glad to have him with us."

Logan adjusted his glasses, "I will say this was a surprise, Virgil had made 3 unexpected appearences in Thomas's life before you even considered bringing him to family breakfast. ( Virgil balled and unballed his hands into fists) And even then you made sure to discuss the idea with us and him before hand-"

"It doesn't matter anyway, because Remus said he has better things to do and better people to be around then us." Patton said, his tone remained chipper but there was an edge to it and the general words he was saying made Rem us bristle a bit. face

Roman looked crestfallen when he heard that, his eyes lowering and his smile fading, the exact opposite of Virgil's satisfied triumphic smirk. Logan's face was different then both, curious, analytical.

"I didn't mean it like that! Shitpoopyshitshit FUCK!" His head was summing as he searched for how to explai what was actually going on, " Better words stop hiding like a mouse in a burrow 5 seconds from being VORED by a snake " (Virgil pushed his food away at that, seeming to lose his apphetite.) "- wait snake, DECEIT! Yes, Deceit's probably lonely all alone accept for Rage of course but he barely leaves his room except to eat so yeah, I have to go back!" He was panting by the end of his speal.

Only for it to be immediately dismissed.

"Either way he's decided not to join us for family dinner." Patton started putting the pancake into a heated plastic bag.

Logan shrugged, "His reasons are understandable and I believe it was too early in our relationship to do this anyway. Perhaps next time we could make a proper schedual to arrange things in a way that makes everyone comfortable." Remus had never loved the nerd more for existing.

"Logan, I'm surprised that you for not being willing to accept Remus if he did decide to eat with us!"

"Reschedualing for the sake of making sure everyone's aware, feels secure," he nods at Virgil who was looking more and more anxious by the second , "and has the time is far from being unwilling to accept Remus and I don't appreciate how you figuratively minced my words to draw that faulty conclusion."

"What would it look like to literally mince someone's words?" Remus mused. He nudged Roman, "Hey, hey Ro, Ro, say something so I can try-"

" ENOUGH! " Virgil sounded his voice compounding on itself, powerful enough to shake the plates. His breathing is shallow, "All I wanted was a nice CALM breakfast and now everyone's fighting because of YOU!" He pointed at Remus , "Just -Just get out, go back to where you belong and stay AWAY FROM US!" 

The room is silent.

Patton hands the bag to Remus.

Remus sinks out.

\---------------------

Deceit sat at the table, two plates on either side of him, ham and boiled eggs to his left(Virgil hated any other kind because he was terrified of accidently cutting his throat with shards of egg shell. With boiled eggs he always made sure to wash them 3 times over after peeling them.), And an eggshell sandwitch to his right.

"Wow you're pathetic." Rage said as he washed his dish. And he didn't even argue with the side. He supposed expecting either of them to come back at this point was fairly pathetic, what did this place offer that the Lights couldn't make 10 times better. Rage went back to his room and Deceit took a moment to put his head in his hand and allow himself to induldge in self pity. Poor little snake, he was certain Rage had to be revealed soon, and considering the decreasing time with each side, it would take them an hour to decide he was a light side.

Not that he cared, it wouldn't be the first time he was alone in the Dark. After all he was the first. The Deceiver, the morning star, he touched the scaled side of his face, the serpant. He belived it once he was sure he could convince himself again and if there was one thing the devil didn't need, it was friends that he couldn't manipulate.

All those thoughts crumpled to dust the minute he heard Remus's voice crooning, "LuCy I'm HOME!" As he ran to the kitchen and plopped down next to him. Deceit's mouth twitched in a barely contained smile. 

"Shell sandwitches?! You really went all out!" He poked Deceit a few times, " Afraid I would leave you forever? "

Deceit scoffed, "Do I seem like the kind of person who'd get that sentimental in 24 hours?"

Remus crunched on his sandwitch, blowing bits of bread and shells as hs spoke, "Ohhhh, a character lie! That's a rare one for you!" He took another bite.

Deceit hummed, "I won't confirm or deny the accuracy of either of those statements. Did you enjoy your time in the light?"

Remus paused, thinking about it, "it was nice seeing Roman again," he giggles, "Hasn't changed a bit! " 

"So you got to influence the topic of the next video?"

Remus shook his head, "Nope! But they were bad ideas anyway I guess, so," he shrugged, picking at the shells.

Deceit put a hand on his shoulder, "They'll see the value of your ideas one day."

Remus looked up at him, "Do you really think so?"

"Of course." He held his knife like a sword, " You're Remus, Duke of villainy, master of chaos! Who couldn't like you? "

Remus smiled, more casual than usual, "Thanks Deceit." He stood up and stretched, " And now I have to head off to the Imagination before I decide the kitche n needs more wall guts. Byyyyyyyye! "He ran off. Leaving Deceit alone once more with his thoughts. The bag of pancakes sat nearby untouched.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus gets summoned to solve a problem!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: Gore and blood, food mention, diarrhea mention, a fake out death, Questionable Virgil, Threats, Repression, Deceit’s actions are more questionable here than any other chapter, homophobia mention, mentions of not wanting to be yourself. This one’s rough friends remember to practice self care.

Remus felt something pull at his collar. Like an invisible string was attached to it and pulling against him. He adjusted his t-shirt slightly with annoyance. Stupid parts of it getting stuck on things- but no, there it was again, harder. His stomach churned, he didn’t dare wish, but of course his mind went wild with ideas of why Tommathy could be summoning him. Oh he hadn’t been summoned since... He thought and thought. Oh. He’d never been summoned before. 

Well there was always time for a first, he thought as he let himself be pulled up by the string into the common room. He was surprised to find it relatively empty, Thomas stood in the center of the room and seemed confused and conflicted as usual, Virgil glared at him and played with the strings of his hoodie which was pulled up over his head Remus would bet money he was chewing on the inside of his lip, and Patton stood by the steps and gave him a cheery wave. It only now occurred to Remus that there wasn’t a script planned for the day either, so this must genuinely be a problem Thomas is going through in the moment and he was asked to help. 

Virgil was the first to speak, “This was a mistake.”

Patton shook his head, “Aw come on kiddo, we have to at least give him a chance!”

Remus looked from one side to the other, “Guess who has no fingers and no clue what’s going on?” He held up the bloodied stumps he’d made his hands in the last two seconds, “THIS GUY!” 

Virgil groaned and put his face in his hands, “Great, terrific, what I always wanted to see.” Remus looked him dead in the eyes and s l o w l y licked the bloodied stump, waggling his tongue when he reached the knuckle.

“Like licking a jam covered, hard di-”

“SAY kiddo,” Patton interrupted, “I’d be glad to tell you what’s going on as soon as you stop being disgusting.”

Remus lowered his stump, popping the fingers back on and wiping off the remaining blood. Virgil squinted at him suspiciously, but Patton looked at him with a glittering smile.

“Great! Okay well, Thomas’s friends are having a horror movie marathon this weekend and you know horror movies tend to make Thomas extremely, ah, anxious.” Virgil pulled his hoodie’s strings tighter, “BUT Rico’s going to be there, and we really haven’t talked to him since the whole, ‘yelling at him for being a former homophobe’... Thing. This would be a great time to talk to him in person and apologize!”

“As we all know, the best time to apologize is when you’re in front of all of your friend group and already anxious because you’re about to watch a series of horror movies sure to give you nightmares for the next week.” Virgil huffed.

Patton bit his lip, “And that’s why I called you!” He pointed at Remus, “You know Thomas isn’t trying to do anything bad, so if you could... Maybe just... Not give him nightmares after the movie night?”

Virgil and Remus blinked in unison. That-That wasn’t how this worked. This wasn’t how any of this worked. 

Virgil sighed, “Patton he can’t just-”

“I’ll do it!” Remus blurted out without really thinking. He mentally cursed himself, he couldn’t do that! He couldn’t just... Stop, it was like asking Logan to think positive or Virgil to not make Thomas anxious- why did he say he would? He looked at Virgil’s face, the disbelief, it was almost worth it for the pure shock value.

Almost. 

Because he had no idea he was going to pull this off. Something that didn’t help at all was how Patton decided to respond. He did that weird stretchy arm thing to give him a high five, he was in such an intense mood that he bit Patton’s hand. His hands were slightly sticky, he licked it to do a taste test before letting go. 

There was a silence in the room as everyone stared at him, he hated it.

“You had peanut butter and strawberry jam for lunch.” He stated and the tension did seem to ease a bit.

“Anywhos,” Patton said, wiping off the spit with a summoned hankercheif. “I’m glad you’re working with us now! This is going to be great of Thomas’s social life, if... Uh Virge, are you comfier with the idea of going to the party now?”

Virgil looked like he was still in shock about what Remus said, “I-I’m still not really sure.” He put his fingers to his temple, “This- This is wrong, this feels wrong.”

Patton looked at him sympathetically, “Kiddo... I know- Logan said that thing about needing to ease the transition. I understand Remus can make you uncomfortable heck he used to make me uncomfy! He’s an uncomfy person.” Remus made a squaking bird-like noise to remind them that he was, in fact, still in the room. Patton made a throat clearing noise and continued, “But right now he’s saying he’ll be helpful to Thomas! Just... Give him a chance? A single chance is all I’m asking.” 

Virgil held himself and for a few seconds thought about the scenario, weighing the worst scenario and best in his head. Remus could practically see the gears turning in his head before he wrapped his arms around himself and said, “Okay. One chance.” His eyes were fire as he turned to Remus, “If Thomas has ONE nightmare I will personally come to the Dark Side and steal your toes.”

Remus shrugged, the most Virgil would do was yell at him next time he rose up but he could go off he guessed. “Sounds fair.” 

Patton smiled as he sunk out, “Oh I love a happy ending!” Virgil followed soon after, giving an ‘I’m watching you’ gesture to Remus who responded with a finger wave. His shoulders sagged a bit and unfortunately Thomas noticed.

“Hey, are you like, okay?” He asked squinting at the side.

Remus forced himself to perk up, something he didn’t think he’d ever be doing. 

“Perfect as Matthew McConaughey’s ass!” He shouted, creating a perfect model in Thomas’s head, though Thomas seemed far too okay with that so he added the image of the ass with explosive diarrhea.

Thomas took a deep breath, “Okaaaaay, well I’m going to go call Lee and tell him I’ll be able to make it. Uh, thanks Remus? I’m sure this is a good idea now-”

Remus waved his hand, “No problem, just doing my job as a side.” And with that he sunk his way back into the Dark Side.

\------

Deceit was calmly reading while drinking some lemon chamomile tea when Remus fell from the ceiling onto the couch and screamed loudly into a pillow. He didn’t look up and sipped some, mm, maybe he shouldn’t have put so much honey in the bitterness of the lemon was vanishing. 

“I’m turning into my brother.” Remus stated rolling himself onto the floor, “I don’t care, I never cared, yet here I am caring! Like some sort of child.” 

Deceit sighed putting down his tea. It was going to be one of these conversations, “Yes Remus, the most childish thing you’ve ever done was start to care about how the others see you.” 

Remus threw a throwing star at him in annoyance, “Shut up!” Deceit let it hit him on the head, created a blood splatter, and collapsed, eyes closed. Remus’s eyes widened. 

“Dickweed?” Remus slowly moved towards him, and shook his shoulder. “Dumbbutt, this-this isn’t funny...” His eyes started to water a bit, “Dee?”

Deceit’s face grinned mockingly, “Oh it’s almost like you care or something.” 

Remus pulled away, “That wasn’t funny!”

Deceit shrugged, “Humor is subjective. My point stands, you’ve always cared.” What he didn’t say was that now Remus had an opportunity to care for more people, to be cared for by more people. It would be cruel of him to expect him to stay, but that didn’t stop his heart from aching. 

The room became far too silent for either of their liking. 

“Hey,” Remus couldn’t believe he was going to ask this- “Do you know how to... Stop me? Make me, not me for a while?” He realized quickly how that sounded and quickly said, “Not forever, just... One night. Thomas wants me gone for one night, it’s important to him and, it’s important to me that I’m not me for just that little while.”

Deciet blinked, that- that wasn’t where he was expecting this to go. His immediate reaction was to pull Remus close, tell him that he didn’t need to do this. That he was a valued part of Thomas, then again the last time he tried to convince someone...

He cringed as the familiar memory of that fateful day echoed in his mind. 

Remus noticed the flinch and shouted, “IT’S NOT LIKE THAT!” He laughed though it was full of edge, “It’s-oh no Double Dicks. I promise, it’s just one night without me, not forever. It’ll be good for everyone; Thomas will have his moment, Patton will be happy, they’ll see that I can be useful sometimes and I’ll get some time for myself, I’ve been really sick of seeing all of you for a while it’ll be nice to get some alone time.” He waggled his eyebrows, “If you know what I mean.”

Deceit looked at his gloves. He knew how to do this, it was part of his job to do this and now Remus was asking... This felt wrong. Even a week or so ago Remus wouldn’t have wanted to shut himself off from the world for an hour. He was one of the most social sides he knew even if his behavior was always antithetical to actually being welcome into social circles. 

He put his hands on Remus’s shoulders. “Come to my room for a second. I- before I let you do this I have to make sure this is real.” Remus summoned two thumbs to give two thumbs up. Then he popped them both in his mouth and casually chewed on them. Deceit led him down the hallway until they reached the door with a double headed snake figure. The room gave those who walked in a warm, happy feeling. Like reading the end of a satisfying story, or when you were a child and felt like you could swing high enough to touch the clouds in that bright blue sky. In Deceit’s room the world feels like yours, if you have the courage to reach out and snatch it in your fingertips. 

It also allowed you to tell the difference from lies and truths. Remus closed his eyes contently, the visions of him beloved, triumphant and a powerful force in the Mind became even clearer, the Deceit in his mind accepted as well... They all seemed so happy together. What was one night for a lifetime of that? So when Deceit stated:

“In order to silence you, I would have to lock you in your side of the Imagination until the morning comes. Thomas will then likely get a sudden surge of every thought I... Forced him to repress.” He played with the edge of his glove, uncomfortable even thinking about it. Then looked into Remus’s eyes, the yellow and brown ones staring into green and red ones, slightly pleading. “Are you sure this is what you want?” 

Remus took a deep breath, his thoughts running wild as usual about the idea of staying in his Imagination for that long. With no outlet the clouds he created would grow and grow until a storm great and terrible raged inside Thomas’s mind. It wouldn’t be getting rid of the problem, it would just be holding it back. But he supposed that would be later Remus’s problem, for now the best thing to do was keep his promise the best way he could. To earn their trust.

He looked back into Deceit’s eyes and with more certainty then he had of reality a good deal of time he stated, “Yes and if you don’t agree to do it, I’ll find a way to do it myself. I can get very creative.” 

Deceit felt his heart sink, he wished he didn’t have one. It always had the worst opinions on him helping people get what they wanted. 

“Consider it done.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Gore, body horror, genitalia mention, blood, Vomiting, insects, insects crawling on skin. Gonna be honest folks this chapter’s borderline Whump. Also sorry this one's so short, I debated on putting together this chapter and the next one but it felt like the next chapter needed its own room to stand so this one's short.

The weekend came far faster than Deceit would like, he felt like he was leading a death march as he and Remus walked down the dark halls of the Mindscape to the large door of the Imagination. It towered over the pair, like a black dragon, ancient and terrifying. Each piece of silver decor outlining it a scale on the beast. 

It will devour Remus whole.

Deceit shook the melodramatic thought from his head. Granted there was a truth to it, he shuddered thinking about what might happen to Remus in there. He glanced at the side who was rocking back and fouth, heels-to-toes, heels-to-toes. Deceit checked his watch- 10 minutes left. Deceit turned to Remus and opened his mouth-

Remus immediately replied, “I know, you’ve been repeating it since I brought it up. I’m sure this is what I want to do. This is what Thomas needs me to do. I get that it’s risky but you have to trust me on this one.” His cadence was less bouncy than usual, his smile, less manic. The unease that rose in Deceit’s chest wasn’t lessened in the slightest by Remus’s serious certainty.

Deceit hesitated, he needed a mind unclouded by emotion right now, “It’s not that I was worried about you of course. I was worried about how this will effect Thomas’s overall mental health. Honestly this level of repression seems like a short term situation that will cause long term problems and...” He faltered over his statement his throat closing in on itself stupidly.

Remus leaned down and kissed the top of his head, “Hey, hey, it’ll only be a few hours, than I’ll be back in here,” He did a pose, “My usual ass-mazing self,” He slapped his own ass for emphasis, “and everyone will be better off for it!”

Deceit closed his eyes and nodded, he held his hands up a light yellow glow forming around his gloves. He checked his watch, 2 minutes. “Only a few hours... If you can and you need to contact me if you need to leave earlier.”

Remus gave a one handed salute, using his other hand to grab the slimy door handle to the Imagination. He pulled and the door moaned sexually, he couldn’t help his giggle at it, on a different day he would have spent hours teasing the door, but today he just stepped into his half of the Imagination. He heard another moan, followed by a click behind him. The door gained a steady yellow aura around it.

This was it. From now until Thomas woke up he would be stuck here. He could do this!

Immediately clouds started forming around him as his thoughts began to run wild, what if the Imagination created a monster that he couldn’t defeat? What would it even look like? OH imagine if it had long claws like a crab, but the rest of its body was octopussy- heh, octopussy, what if it had one that worked like a vacuum, sucking up everything in its path?

And as soon as the thought formed so did the cloud, and as soon as the cloud fully formed, so did the creature. It was the size of Mount Everest, and other than its bright red claws it was made of a strange, putty like substance. Its face- or lack thereof was a completely flat surface. It rolled towards him, claws outstretched ready to snap him in half.

Well this certainly was a great way to start the night.

He leaped away from the creature’s first attack, and tried to ignore how large the crater was, tried not to think about how it would feel if the creature managed to catch him, how he would first feel the sharp sides of the claws digging into his flesh, then feel them push deeper into his skin.

It grabbed him.

The creature was clever, it would play with him, slowly pushing those nubs into his skin, he cried as he felt a thousand needles dig into his skin at once. The blood trickled down his skin hot as a flame, each droplet touching another hold. It never touched the ground, swirling around him, burning him. He panted, both because of the extreme heat and the ache that had taken over his body. He wished something would get rid of the blood in his body, at least if he didn’t have blood the burning aches would go away.

The Imagination obliged him, the creature rolled onto its back, revealing the only hole in his body. Remus couldn’t help but take a moment to admire the perfection of his Yonic imagery. The way the sides folded in on itself and the round diamond-like shape. It was like a Georgia O Keef painting, Logan would be proud after all those lessons on anatomy...

Well he would be proud until it started to pull the blood from his body, his body arched back and he screamed, he felt like an inflated blow-up doll, limp in the air but still conscious. His heart continued to pound, giving the creature more blood, and it gained more size and power. He forced himself to think of a way out of this situation. The only thing that can beat one giant octopus-crab-vag creature... Was another octopus-crab-vag creature! And maybe he’d just be thrown off to the side so they could touch lips-

And so he flew through the air, watching the two octopus-crab-vag creatures roll away together and he easily thought of a cloud to make him slowly float into the arms of a group of small humanoid creatures, aspects of their faces each in different spots like a group of Mr.Potato heads in a preschool. Their hands were cold as ice and had the texture of snot. They gripped his wrists, the top of his head and ankles, that snot-like texture dripping against arms, head, and legs. He twitched under the touch- a twitch that would have been a flinch if he could properly move at the moment. He couldn’t help but give a sigh of relief, even though these guys were creepy and he was trapped in their grip they didn’t seem to automatically want to kill him. If anything, they were kind of cute, one of them had an eye on his chin how precious!

Remus giggled, “What’s your name little guys?”

One of them grinned from a smile in their hair, and the others started giggling, one of them loudly started shouting, “DING DING DING DING DING DING!” Another clicked on a record player which started playing siren noises, and a third created a stepping stool and stood over him, several knives in hand.

“SPIN TIME!” The one standing over him shouted, the ones holding Remus giggled started to spin him around and around the one standing above him began to throw knives at his body. Remus thought he would get sick and his mouth immediately started to taste like bile and his stomach heaved, he tried to throw up, but the one holding his head had an iron grip. He felt the bile rise in his throat and stop there, he coughed feeling the chunks getting stuck in his throat. His coughs became harsher as he tried to force them out but to no avail.

It was then that he started to feel the pinching, harsh stab of dull knives being thrown at his body, the first at his stomach, then his head, then two for each shoulder and two for each knee- and at first, he supposed it wasn’t too bad. He sucked in air through his breath as each one pierced through his skin, but it was only a few seconds of pain before he was gently set down on the ground. He took a moment to breathe, the creatures suddenly became silent as he stared at the sky; it was already filled to the brim with clouds of thoughts towards other people he’d had throughout this endeavor. Every second he wished someone else was here, every fly away thought he had while floating to the ground sat in that sky.

He almost thought it would be more painful for him to be stuck here, staring in horror at the future that Thomas had waiting for his mind and knowing it was his fault. The guilt weighed in his chest like a thousand bricks, and unsurprisingly at this point, several tons of bricks than fell from the sky and onto his chest, forcing the breath from his lungs. Something that looked like ash swirled around him. In his ears came the squelch of a knife being pushed into a body.

Oh wait, no, that wasn’t ash.

Those were his locust.

The first one landed on his skin and immediately the creatures that had captured him began to make noises that banged around in his head like the beans in a rattle. The feeling of every small leg of the locust against his raw, pained body felt like hammers banging against his skin. Their bits like needles pushing into his skin. One began to walk on top of his eyeball and he immediately closed his eyes, squishing it between his eyelids, feeling the guts in every pore. He put his hands to his ears but the sound only grew louder, he rolled around but failed to kill any of the locusts. They swarmed around him like a tornado of pain. He wished this would end, he wished he could just escape-

"Remus?" Remus could hear the sound of a voice above the whirlwind of noise noise NOISE around him. The screams of children as someone chopped off their fingers and used them to scratch a record playing Sweet Home Alabama slowly, far too slowly, the man's voice low and crackly and the SCREETCH of the nails against the record. How could he even try to focus on who this was?

" REMUS! "He struggled to hear the voice and recognize it. So familiar, so terribly terribly familiar. his eyes popped open and his vision filled with the twitchy, tiny leg of locusts. They started to gnaw on his eye, his vision slowly becoming black as they bit into his iris as easily as one might chew on a piece of a sandwich.

But Remus didn't need to see at the moment, he knew what he saw.

Roman. His brother, he could save him! Wait, he was supposed to be in here for a reason, wasn't he? Think Remus think! Why was he supposed to be here? Something about Patton? Thomas? The noise broke his brain, he didn't care anymore, he didn't care anymore! He just wanted to get out of this situation, to live for a few more minutes. He crawled out of the tornado and reached for his brother's hand.

Light flooded his vision and the swarm of locusts exploded into a swarm of butterflies. The creatures started to run towards Roman, who easily tore them down with a wave of his sword. He picked up Remus as easily as he might a small child. Remus watched as they walked through the black and silver door of his half of the Imagination, he saw Deceit, he was obviously saying something but his ringing ears couldn't understand a word. He felt weak and dumber than usual as he finally closed his eyes, deciding he'd focus on the consequences of his actions later. For now, he would let himself rest.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus heals in his room and the others have talks with him.

Remus heard quiet murmuring around him. He could feel the familiar, jello-like squish of his bed underneath him. He wanted to whine and pull his pillow over his face. It was far too early to be awake! His body felt so sore though that he knew trying to move would be a massive mistake, he groaned and squeezed his eyes more tightly. The voices silenced.

“Perhaps we should through some water on him.” One of the voices said.

Remus’s eyes shot open, “I’m up, I’m up!” He tried to move and felt a surge of pain on his back, he moved back onto the bed. Patton practically jumped on him to hug him. Pushing his back against the bed and making his pain rear up with a harsh burning sensation. 

“Remus! You’re okay,” he moved out a tear from his eye, “Don’t ever worry us like that again.”

Roman was sitting off to the side playing with his fingers, “You’re still so hurt... Hey everyone, can I get a chance to talk to my brother for a second alone?” The group looked at each other and nodded in agreement.

“I think we all want a moment with him alone.” Deceit said quietly, standing up.

Wrath leaned towards Roman and whispered, “If you do anything to him, I will tear you apart.”

Roman smiled sheepishly, “Will do!”

And with that the group began to leave, Deceit was the last to leave, giving a final small look before leaving. Remus would bet money that he was standing directly behind the door just in case anything did go wrong during this discussion. Remus starred at Roman as he shuffled back and forth.

“Well?” Remus said slightly impatiently, there was nothing that he hated more than silence.

Roman took a deep breath, “I can’t help but blame myself for this, for you locking yourself in the imagination.” He rubbed his arms, “You’re not- a few months ago I thought you were the evilest thing a person could be, you’re loud, irritating, violent and vulgar.”

Remus grinned, “That’s the goal!”

Roman gave a small smile back and gently put his hand to his shoulder, “But you’re far from evil and you don’t deserve to be hurt for existing. And I’m sorry if I ever, ever contributed to you feeling like you do.”

Remus’s eyes widened at that, he didn’t expect the conversation to go this way. He couldn’t help but start to giggle. Oh God, Roman- heh- his laughter slowly became more and more harsh and jagged, his throat grew sore from the effort when he spat out, “23 years and 7 days!”

Roman blinked, “You counted?”

Remus’s grin widened, “Janus and I made a bet on the day that we met about whether you’d or Logan or Patton would ever see any value in us. It took this long but I WON! I WON! I WON!” He started to bounce and make loud screeching noises of victory.

Roman gave a small smile of relief, “Yes well...” He stood up, “I feel better, but the more important question is, do you?”

Remus moved his hand back and forth, physically time had already started to heal his wounds and mentally, well, he wasn't sure how he felt at this point. Studying his own mind was always an annoying at best use of time. He shrugged, "About as well as a mouse in a blender eating cheese."

Roman looked at the ceiling trying to figure out what that meant. There was a loud SPLAT as a piece of green goo (Whether it was jello or snot Remus couldn't know) hit Roman directly in the eye. Roman groaned at the attack and reached his hand towards it only to get his hand stuck, ah, it was the glue. Remus summoned a cup of fire; Roman held his hands up in fear.

"NO!" Roman cleared his throat and took a deep breath, "I'm good, I prefer keeping my eyebrows thank you." Remus shrugged and put the fire away while Roman shook his hand to try to separate it from his face.

He sighed, "I guess I'll just wait until I can get to my room to get it off." He gave one of his so-charming-and-kind-it-made-Remus-want-to-puke smiles, "Try to get some rest okay?" Remus sighed, did his brother have to be... Like this? All the time?

He waved his hand to dismiss him. "Don't worry too much about me Prince Smarming. I'll be fine."

Roman ruffled Remus's hair and started to walk towards the door, but Remus felt weird about the entire thing. Like someone took away your plate of organs before you could finish it; a slight sense of fullness but a lingering, intense hunger remained. That hunger is what lead him to loudly call to Roman.

"Roman, wait." Roman took his hand away from the doorknob and turned around to look at him. Remus's head started spinning, wait, fuck, what did he really want to say? Did he want to eat Roman?! Is that what that thing in his head that he was thinking was saying?! It wouldn't be the first time, especially during moments like this when everything felt intense, oh why would he stop Roman without even thinking about what he was supposed to say-

Then, as if from hell itself, a phrase floated towards him. One that perfectly described his current feelings towards Roman and his relationship to what just happened.

"Thank you."

\------------------------------------

Wrath was poor at expressing emotions, which showed in what reaction he decided to show Remus. It was a short visit in which Remus didn’t get a word in edgewise. Instead Wrath marched over to his bed, his face showed his mild irritation of the situation, his eyes hard and narrow as two pieces of coal. He crawled on top of Remus’s bed and flicked his nose.

As soon as he’d came he’d gone.  
\--------------------------------------------

Remus wasn’t sure how Deceit was going to react, after all, he’s the one who’d known about this entire endeavor after all, he was aware of it. Of every part of it, the good things that would happen, the bad and the neutral all the same. Yet he went along with it anyway, because it was what Remus wanted.

He pulled up a chair and ignored its screams as he sat on its face. He equally as easily ignored its weird moaning noises.“You know, Roman was ready to chop my head off the moment that he heard what was going on.” His voice had a hint of a chuckle in it.

Remus grinned, “Did he go through with it? Bet there was a TON of blood.”

Deceit rested his head in his hands, “Remus, we’re physical manifestations of Thomas’s being. We only have things like ‘blood’ if we want to or,” he gently stroked his scales, “It reflects Thomas’s view of us in some way... Of course there was a ton of blood.”

Remus gave a loud cackle and clapped his hands, "OH GOODIE! Can you give me a show?"

Deceit tapped his chin with his finger, “Hmm, I don’t know,” he gave Remus a knowing look with that small smile on his lips.

Remus had to stop himself from bouncing, “You’re great at remaking events!”

Deceit grinned and tipped his hat so it covered the snake half of his face, “If you insist.” He gave a twirl, his caplet flowing around him as he changed into Roman. Remus snuggled into his blanket and watched the show take place.

“Why can’t I get into the Imagination?” Deceit as Roman shouted, he spun around again so he was himself, facing Roman.

He pressed his hand against his heart, “Why would I have anything to do with this?”

‘Roman’ growled at Deceit, his hand on his sword’s hilt,“Drop the act Corrupt Cobra, I know you’re far from innocent. I could feel your slimy yellow aura all over my door!”

Deceit gave a long, sigh and rolled his eyes dramatically. He pointed where Roman was standing with his thumb and stage whispered to Remus, “This guy, am I right?” He turned back to ‘Roman’ before he could give a proper answer, “Fine fine, if you truly insist on knowing, your brother asked me to do him a little favor.” 

‘Roman’ glared at Deceit, “What did you do,”

Deceit cocked his head, “What?”

‘Roman’ pointed his sword where Deceit’s throat was, “The only wishes you’d grant are those monkey paw... Evil kind, what. Did you do. To Remus?”

Deceit’s eyes shifted, “You’re a smart man Roman, I’m sure you can figure it out.”

There was a silence between them. 

“Let me through.”

“No.”

‘Roman’ pulled his sword back, “Let me through or I will not hesitate to separate your head from your neck.”

Deceit shook his head, “I will not let you stop Remus from getting what he wanted for the sake of your own sense of feeling morally right.” He held his hair.

‘Roman’ true to his word swung his sword, Deceit turned back to his self so he could show how the muscles of the neck were separated, the blood pushed through his veins each droplet flying through the room like a water sprinkler on a garden. 

Remus squealed and opened his mouth to taste the take droplet, Deceit’s head winked at him but in the few seconds where he was still reacting to ‘Roman’s’ bold action, Roman ran past him through the door.

Deceit summoned his hat and bowed while Remus cheered his dramatic display.

“Brava brava!” He shouted and gave a loud laugh, but as Deceit moved back to sit back down, a silence fell upon the pair. 

“So... That’s it then?” Remus asked, “You’re not going to scold me or tell me that what I did could have gotten me killed, you know the whole riot act that you gave Virgil when he did something that could have fucked him up?”

Deceit looked down and took a deep breath, in and out through his nose. He than looked back up at Remus, “Remus, I- we grew up together. You and Virgil were all that I had for years and after Virgil left you were the only one that I had left. And,” Another deep breath, “As much as a mistake as some may argue it is... I have some respect for what you are and what you do... What I told Virgil disrespected him and that’s why he hates me now. I didn’t respect his ability to chose who he was and what he wanted to do.”

Deceit stood up, “And I will not make the same mistake again. Remus you’re an adult and I’m your friend. I-I trust you to make your own decisions and know what you want to do for yourself and Thomas.”

Remus’s eyes slowly widened further and further as Deceit continued speaking, “Dee- I don’t know what I want! Not really, I think, I’m REALLY bad at making decisions, I’m reckless and I have no filter and-”

Deceit put his hand on Remus’s head, giving it a gentle ruffle, “You’ll figure it out.” He moved his hand away, “You’re the only one who can... Let’s just hope that it doesn’t involve too many mess ups.”

Remus wrapped his arms around himself, “We can hope but it’s me! I’m chaos and pain personified.”

Deceit hesitated and stood up straight, “You’re a lot of things Remus. Those are only two of them but I can’t tell you what else there is to you.” And with that, Deceit walked out of the room. Each click, click, click of his heels a roll of thunder through Remus’s mind. No matter who came after, he knew now that Deceit wasn’t going to pull him out of this and that-that frightened him more than anything the Imagination could give him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry that I vanished on you these last few months, life’s been kinda hectic. 
> 
> Tw: Talk of gore, vomit and sexual humor, emotional manipulation. Unsympathetic Patton, Virgil’s moved closer to Sympathetic this chapter, intense self-loathing and belief of worthlessness. It’s Angst Hours, ask to tag, please note that this isn’t how the fic ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry that I vanished on you these last few months, life’s been kinda hectic. Putting this in the notes and summary because I'm serious when I say that this chapter's a lot. Please practice self-care. The language in this chapter can be triggering and if you need to stop reading the chapter or stop reading period please do so. 
> 
> Tw: Talk of gore, vomit and sexual humor, emotional manipulation. Unsympathetic Patton, Virgil’s moved closer to Sympathetic this chapter, intense self-loathing and belief of worthlessness. It’s Angst Hours, ask to tag, please note that this isn’t how the fic ends.

Patton's eyes were bright dead and swollen, leaking with tears that reminded Remus of a blister about to pop. He threw himself on Remus again, making him flinch from the pain.

"Oh Remus, how could you have done that!" Patton sobbed on Remus's shoulder. But despite the dramatics of Patton's behavior, Remus couldn't help but feel his heart warm a bit at Patton caring about him.

Patton gripped Remus's shoulders, digging his nails harshly, "How... How could you hurt Thomas like that!"

Remus felt his heart sink. Oh. Oh of course he-

"You're so selfish! Do you have any idea how hard it'll be to deal with all of those terrible thoughts for the next few days?"

Remus rolled his eyes, “And here I thought you might care about my injuries.” He crossed his arms and quickly regrets it as a rush of pain runs down the middle of his back. “Stay classy Patton.”

Patton’s eyes widened, “What? Of course I care about you kiddo! You’re just... Not the most important person in this relationship. Thomas is and I just think you-”

“You think- you think I don’t care about Thomas?” He laughed harsh and loud and angry, “Why do you think I locked myself in that room? You didn’t want me to bother him-”

Patton threw his arms in the air, “Yet here you are! Being a bother to him, messing with his head, making Virgil even more anxious because now he’s so stressed and that stupid movie’s going to give him so many terrible gorey thoughts.”

“It was your idea! You wanted to go to that stupid whatever so Thomas could make it up to Rico.” He shook his head, he was so confused, what did Patton want him to do? He couldn’t just, not be himself forever with 0 consequences-

Well, there was one way of course. But that was absolutely ridiculous, Patton might hate him but he wouldn’t... Would he?

Patton took a breath in through his nose and sat closer to Remus, “Remus, I’ve tried so many times since you were created to help you.” Remus moved back slightly, unable to hide his disgust as Patton kept talking, “Virgil could be helped, maybe even one day we can find a way for Deceit to help Thomas, but you...”

He took Remus’s hands in his own, ignoring how he pulled away, “I think it’s time that we all acknowledge that you don’t really have a purpose here. Not anything worthwhile that another side couldn’t handle.”

He put his head on Remus’s shoulder, “I hate to say it, you know I do. It hurts my heart to suggest one of my kiddos-”

“Suck my dick.” Remus said, his voice a deadly calm.

“Remu-”

He forced himself to give a single thrust, and gave a moan somewhere between faking-arousal and genuine pain. “If you’re not gonna suck my dick I don’t know why you’re still in here. Give me a little pleasure through my pain. I’m absolutely ~desperate for a good sucking off right now~.” If he were in a better position he’d have rolled onto his stomach.

But then if he were in a better position he probably wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.

And he definitely wouldn’t be thinking he has a point.

Patton sighed and said, “Just think about it for a bit.” His tone was pleading before he left.

He took a deep breath and let out a blood-curdling scream. One that shook the walls of the room, but even that barely made him feel better. Of course, the person who walked into the room after Patton didn’t help any.

“Hey emo-freak.” 

“Hey shit stain.” 

Virgil didn’t sit next to Remus, he stood near the doorway. Ready to run as soon as he could. As he always did.

“Why did you lock yourself in there like that?” Virgil asked. Remus was tempted to lie to him, or at least be sarcastic and tell him about how much he enjoyed being torn apart by his own creation. Say that it was some sort of masochist thing. But Virgil would know better- hell he probably already knew the answer and wanted to hear it from his own mouth. That’s the problem with being one of the few comforts for each other for years: You get a chance to know each other.

“I stupidly thought if I could manage to hide myself for a while that maybe I could get accepted.” He gives a small smile, “And maybe a bit to spite you. You and Deceit can get these smug looks on your face that make me want to punch you or puke... Or both! Oh that sounds like fun! Waiting until your face gets so bruised it makes me wanna puke or puking while I punch you, so many options-”

Virgil cringed, “Yeah, I think I get it... You know, you shouldn’t try to force this. It won’t work that way, you just need to give them time.” He rubbed his chin, “Or you could try ducking out like I did, I mean it did help them realize that I brought a lot of worthwhile things to the table and all.”

Remus groaned and it wasn’t because of the pain in his body. “Hey Virge, I have a fun question for you?” His voice was a few octaves higher than usual which only happened when Remus was doing something particularly cruel. “If I vanished 2 days ago would you come looking for me?”

He leaned towards him and breathed onion-marijuana-breath directly into his face making him cough, “There’s so much of me to love.” He giggled as he thought of the next thing to say, “From my head to my head! But really, what would Thomas be losing if I was gone? Night after night of nightmare? More reasons to be anxious? Thoughts about his family and friends being killed in terrifying ways? Oh the horror! The tragedy of me vanishing! How would he survive!” 

He raised an eyebrow at Virgil who shook his head, “Remus you shouldn’t think that way. You’re extremely useful to Thomas! You give him...” He blinked, thinking for a second, “And you, uh- do that thing? That super useful thing that we just haven’t really had the ability to appreciate yet because you’re always around and we’ve taken you for granted?” 

Remus made a loud popping noise with his mouth, “That was shit Virgil.”

“Look, I’m trying!”

Remus shook his head, “There’s no point! Because Patton’s right, if I duck out Thomas will be better off, everyone will be better off because I don’t have a purpose. I was made to be evil and the sooner I recognize that... The sooner I can actually help Thomas by fucking off forever.” 

Virgil looked like he was ready to cry, “You’re wrong... You have a secondary purpose, everyone does! I just... Remus, even if Thomas doesn’t need you, Deceit does.”

Remus snorted and Virgil added, “It’s true! I heard him crying after he left your room because... Remus he’s terrified of losing someone else in his life. You’re the last person he has and if you lock yourself away he’ll shatter like a teacup.”

Remus swallowed, “Deceit... Needs me?”

Virgil nodded, “He probably wouldn’t admit it, but he does. And Roman- Roman would be devastated if you sunk out. And- so would I. Remus don’t duck out for our sake even if you can’t figure out a reason to do so for yourself yet.”

Remus took a deep breath. “Okay. I think I can do that.”


End file.
